Our own informer (not unlike Edward Snowden yet in even more danger then Snowden, should the Earthworms ever get hold of him) has leaked us top secret information on some of the disguises that the fiendishly clever Earthworms have employed against their enemy of old…The Moles.
In the legacy of Wiki-leaks we felt it our duty to share these plans.
Common Disguises of the Common Earthworm
1. A Root: What could be less obtrusive in the subterranean world of the Moles and the Earthworms then a soft brown root? And what could be more deadly then an invisible worm disguised as one?!!
2. Part of the wall: Skilled as they are in the ninja arts, a handful of the most elite Ninja worms can literally fade into the background. Now you see them, Now you don’t…. (at least you don’t see them…clearly)
3. A Rattlesnake: Certain situations may call for a worm to take on the intimidating guise of a rattler. The fact that a rattlesnake does not in fact exhibit a hood, is completely lost on the Moles. In fact it merely enhances the disguise’s aura of serpentine danger.
4. A snail: It takes a particular type of worm to assume the role of a snail. One can never be sure whether their perpetually excited expressions are genuine, or an exhausted result of having to lug those heavy ‘shell’ around everywhere.
5. A Biker: Despite what one may think, this unconventional disguise has been used to great effect by the Earthworms. During the 1980s, one Earthworm of some ability, actually convinced a group of big, dirty, hairy bikers to join it. He named this gang the ‘Holey Moleys’ and they were the scourge of the freeway…The unusually high amount of Mole road kills over that period, continues to baffle scientists and engineers to this day.
6. An Astronaut: This was not so much a disguise as an actual event. During the space race that we know of between USA and the USSR, a less well recorded space race was happening beneath our feet! Needless to say, the Mole’s effort didn’t get off the ground. The Earthworm genius’s however, managed to sneak one of their number onto Apollo 11. It was really just one small squirm for worm, one GIANT SLIDE for Earthworm kind.